I don’t normally buy into the latest social networking app, you know the ones available for every phone that’ll connect you with everyone you’ve ever seen out of the corner of your eye and allow you to send them ironic selfies plastered in emojis while letting them know you’re currently streaming the debut album of the cool new indie band that only uses three obscure instruments between eight band members and subtly showing the TV in the background playing the latest tense political thriller following the rise to providence of a serial killer in the 13th century.
I broke my trend and got Timehop and I can safely say I’m delighted with the results as today I found out that five years ago I told someone to “shut up or I’ll get a hammer and nails and turn your cunt into a fucking treehouse.”
I’m now pleasantly surprised with my eighteen year-old self.
I’ve just started watching Vikings and it struck me, you know a TV series is amazing when you need to go to the toilet and you end up taking your laptop with you to keep streaming it while you take a shit. That’s real gripping storytelling right there.
So I watched the most recent episode of The Walking Dead and there’s a scene where Daryl Dixon tries to catch a wild horse and says “You used to be somebodies, but now you’re just yours.” In reference to the fact that the horse used to be tame but since it’s been on it’s own it’s gotten wild and difficult to handle.
Never have I felt such an affinity for a fictional horse.
It struck me the other day that my room seems to have things dotted around it that are really just tests to see if a girl is a good match for me or not. Not intentionally of course, it’s just something that I realised was a happy coincidence.
There’s a stack of Dragonball Z DVDs by my TV, a framed photo of Liam Neeson by my bed, a wooden totem pole on the table and five lego figures hidden around my bookcase.