I’ve started saying yes to everything and I can honestly say the effects are immediate.
I’m a very fussy eater, If it’s not chicken, fruit or potatoes then I probably won’t eat it but I’ve been offered to try fisherman’s pie later, not a big deal but a nice starting point. I also ditched uni work to hang out with friends last night that I haven’t seen since Christmas and it was a fun night, well worth it and a well-deserved break. I somehow managed to agree to go on three different dates between now and Monday and play badminton with my dad on Monday daytime which again, is not a big deal but being open to everything seems to make even the most distinctly average of days contain at least one thing fun. Now for the icing on the cake though, I’ve arranged to go to Carmarthen next weekend to actually start recording some spoken word stuff just like I’ve always said I wanted to so I guess we’ll see how that goes, it might be premature but I’ve got high hopes.
It’s taking a lot of effort to really finish these last few things so everything is ready to record in the new year. I think it should all be done tonight, I’m not going to sleep until it’s finished. It just makes me think that some things are hard work but if you’re in the middle of doing it, chances are it’s going to be worthwhile to finish it.
I don’t know what to do or think or say but all I do know is i can’t sleep for shit tonight. There’s so much running through my head I really can’t even express it properly. I need to just sit down and while away the small hours now by writing and writing until I can’t write anymore. I don’t know what to do to keep my mind off things and hopefully bring me to sleep but I know if I do what I’ve been finding cathartic recently it might at least relax my mind and let it rest. It doesn’t look like I’m going to be able to sleep at all tonight if I’m honest but at least I might get a good poem out of it? Who fucking knows.
This gorgeous chicken-eatery is going to have the pleasure of my presence tonight. I’ve got work to do when I get back to Swansea on sunday so I’m not going out for Carnage as it really would use up what little time I have to do these essays and what little time I have to spend with my girlfriend. I’ve been getting into spoken word poetry a lot recently as well. I’ve written some of my own and I actually can’t wait till I come home for christmas so I can record it and start things going! I’ll also get to spend almost every day with the girl of my dreams again. As lame as it sounds, I really do miss her when we’re not together.