Every Night The Same

I go to sleep, sometimes drunk, sometimes not. Every time in a bad mood, I reassure myself that when I wake up it will be a new day, I will have one more chance to have a good day and not be weighed down by any worries, troubles or concerns. Every time I lie to myself to keep me happy. Every morning is the same, I wake up neutral, not happy or unhappy but something will happen, at some point, to ruin this as opposed to make it better. There are only so many times I can repeat it before I run out of chances. Game Over. No more credits. Please Insert Coin(s). Something must be done about this.

First Morning Of Uni After The First Night

“You look like voldemort before his hair fell out” The first words I heard today, because apparently my hangovers are ten times worse than everyone elses in my halls. As well as this my leg bled all over my bed, apparently I tried to carry a door upstairs and it landed on me, I need to get a grip and stop being a child, I’m 20. Fuck.

I Used To Dream Every Night

Now it’s seldom any more than once or twice a month and I’m grateful for it. My dreams aren’t the lovely, flying, gracious dreams. Mine are the ones that make you feel like you’ve been hit by a fucking train and had a bucket of water thrown over you just for good measure. I think it’s because I’m not afraid any more, I’m not avoiding the future, I’m embracing it. I can’t wait to see where this ends up.