I wake up the same way every day now. Sweating, short of breath and panicking, every time and I’m starting to get fucking sick of it.
I feel ill so I guess it could just be that but I’m finding it hard to get to sleep in the first place too so maybe it’s just mild insomnia? Or maybe I’m just haunted by bad decisions and nightmares of how it could’ve been.
I’m going to go with illness, until I undoubtedly get proven wrong.
So I take a look around on Facebook and I see that the vast majority of my friends are actually still online, still awake and still talking to people. That’s just the one’s who are on Facebook too, what about all the people who’re still awake playing games where you murder prostitutes, masturbating to “sisters” banging the same dude or whatever the fuck it is that kids love to do these days.
I find it weird though that so many people are unable to sleep, they can’t find any rest. I think the main reason is unhappiness, especially at my age anyway, people are coming to the stark realisation that life is not what they thought it was going to be five years ago. I thought I was going to be filthy rich and covered in bitches and I’m pretty sure most people my age pictured a similar future but sadly it wasn’t to be. We can’t all be Dan Bilzerian.
Truth is people are all awake right now because they live in the faint hope that something incredible might fall into their lap if they could possibly stay awake just a few seconds longer.