I wake up the same way every day now. Sweating, short of breath and panicking, every time and I’m starting to get fucking sick of it.
I feel ill so I guess it could just be that but I’m finding it hard to get to sleep in the first place too so maybe it’s just mild insomnia? Or maybe I’m just haunted by bad decisions and nightmares of how it could’ve been.
I’m going to go with illness, until I undoubtedly get proven wrong.
I’ve had notoriously bad luck on my birthdays for the last five years, to the point where it’s actually become a running joke among my family and close friends.
When I was 18, I broke my ankle about a week before my birthday and couldn’t leave the house.
When I was 19, my girlfriend at the time actually cheated on me on my birthday itself.
When I was 20, I stupidly had my kneecap tattooed the day before and I was unable to bend my knee or walk properly until it healed so couldn’t go out.
When I was 21, I had Gastroenteritis and physically couldn’t eat for about three weeks, I ended up in hospital on a drip being treated for dehydration and starvation.
When I was 22, I thought my luck had changed when I went on a holiday with my ex to Athens but we argued basically the whole day and night, making it pretty shitty.
Now after six years of this happening I figured Thursday was doomed from the get go but somehow I made it there with no injuries or illnesses and no problems whatsoever.
I went out, got to my usual blackout, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde level of drunk and ended up bringing a girl from my course back to mine, we spent the rest of the next day being hungover as shit doing fuck all. I used this time to find out she’s actually a massive Dragonball Z fan, something I never thought I’d be able to say about a girl. We ended up watching about ten episodes and we’re going to have a marathon soon.
It sounds insane but after years of awful luck, something as simple as this has really put me in a good mood and given me a more positive outlook. It’s something that’s made me think, a situation only affects you in the way you let it affect you. I could easily have been unimpressed by what most would consider a perfectly average day but instead I chose to be grateful that it was the first problem-free birthday of my adult life.