Something absolutely magical happened the other night. I’ve actually developed a solution to the age-old problem of forgetting what you were about to say because someone interrupted you.
That exact situation played out as it normally does, one of my friends started talking about his friend’s appendicitis and we went off on a tangent with him forgetting what his point in the story was. This is normally followed by the typical “what was the last thing i said?” “I have no idea.” Usually this is where the conversation dies unless the first person can force themselves to remember, which is rare whether you’re high or not.
This is when I came up with the plan, if you just restart the conversation and replay out exactly what you remember saying leading up to the point that neither of you can remember then the person who needs to remember should just naturally think of what they were thinking of before.
I figured that if something we said triggered him remembering a story he wanted to say then maybe going through the conversation again as naturally as possible would trigger the memory again and as it happens it worked.
I’ve had notoriously bad luck on my birthdays for the last five years, to the point where it’s actually become a running joke among my family and close friends.
When I was 18, I broke my ankle about a week before my birthday and couldn’t leave the house.
When I was 19, my girlfriend at the time actually cheated on me on my birthday itself.
When I was 20, I stupidly had my kneecap tattooed the day before and I was unable to bend my knee or walk properly until it healed so couldn’t go out.
When I was 21, I had Gastroenteritis and physically couldn’t eat for about three weeks, I ended up in hospital on a drip being treated for dehydration and starvation.
When I was 22, I thought my luck had changed when I went on a holiday with my ex to Athens but we argued basically the whole day and night, making it pretty shitty.
Now after six years of this happening I figured Thursday was doomed from the get go but somehow I made it there with no injuries or illnesses and no problems whatsoever.
I went out, got to my usual blackout, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde level of drunk and ended up bringing a girl from my course back to mine, we spent the rest of the next day being hungover as shit doing fuck all. I used this time to find out she’s actually a massive Dragonball Z fan, something I never thought I’d be able to say about a girl. We ended up watching about ten episodes and we’re going to have a marathon soon.
It sounds insane but after years of awful luck, something as simple as this has really put me in a good mood and given me a more positive outlook. It’s something that’s made me think, a situation only affects you in the way you let it affect you. I could easily have been unimpressed by what most would consider a perfectly average day but instead I chose to be grateful that it was the first problem-free birthday of my adult life.
So I take a look around on Facebook and I see that the vast majority of my friends are actually still online, still awake and still talking to people. That’s just the one’s who are on Facebook too, what about all the people who’re still awake playing games where you murder prostitutes, masturbating to “sisters” banging the same dude or whatever the fuck it is that kids love to do these days.
I find it weird though that so many people are unable to sleep, they can’t find any rest. I think the main reason is unhappiness, especially at my age anyway, people are coming to the stark realisation that life is not what they thought it was going to be five years ago. I thought I was going to be filthy rich and covered in bitches and I’m pretty sure most people my age pictured a similar future but sadly it wasn’t to be. We can’t all be Dan Bilzerian.
Truth is people are all awake right now because they live in the faint hope that something incredible might fall into their lap if they could possibly stay awake just a few seconds longer.
First off, if you got the reference in the title then a big thumbs up to you. Secondly, I’d just like to make the point that whenever a girlfriend or boyfriend says the phrase “It’s me or your friends” then you should always pick your friends and although this seems common sense, not everyone does think this way. But, do you know why you should? Because nobodies friends have ever grouped together and unanimously decided “It’s us or your girlfriend/boyfriend”.
I just got home ready for the weekend back from Swansea to see my girlfriend and spend some time with some close friends too and I’ve somehow ended up spending the entire of this evening curled up in a ball on my sofa, sleeping with my cats and playing with them. I like it when I can see they’re getting more and more annoyed but I’m just finding it more entertaining. Cats make the best fun.
I’ve come to realise this and the thought of it scares me more than any phobia imaginable. I haven’t made any posts for a while and have had no e-mails or rush of concern and I can only further this by thinking that, if I died quite suddenly I would not be missed. Family and close friends would of course be sad to see me go and would miss me but in the grand scheme of things, I will not be missed. I’m going to put my best efforts and resources into changing this, as soon as possible.