I’ve Got It

Since the age of sixteen, the longest I’ve been single is six weeks, until now. It’s been four months and a handful of days since my last relationship ended and I made a conscious effort to stay single for a longer period of time than I normally would for two main reasons:

A. All of my friends comment on the fact that I don’t stay single for long and I’ve been told that I could just be overcommitting to relationships to soon.

B. I still have feelings for my last girlfriend and it wouldn’t be fair to any new girl for me to get heavily involved while that’s still the case.

But anyway, the point is that it’s taken some time but I think I’ve finally got it. It’s taken a long time really but I think I’ve figured out how to be on my own, how to be happy in my own company and not need someone around constantly. Maybe this’ll make me a better person or a worse person, only time will tell but I can tell you this, it definitely feels good now to be comfortable spending time on your own and to get to know who you are that little bit better.

Hi Alex, I’m you. Nice to meet us.

Birthday Wishes

I’ve had notoriously bad luck on my birthdays for the last five years, to the point where it’s actually become a running joke among my family and close friends.

When I was 18, I broke my ankle about a week before my birthday and couldn’t leave the house.
When I was 19, my girlfriend at the time actually cheated on me on my birthday itself.
When I was 20, I stupidly had my kneecap tattooed the day before and I was unable to bend my knee or walk properly until it healed so couldn’t go out.
When I was 21, I had Gastroenteritis and physically couldn’t eat for about three weeks, I ended up in hospital on a drip being treated for dehydration and starvation.
When I was 22, I thought my luck had changed when I went on a holiday with my ex to Athens but we argued basically the whole day and night, making it pretty shitty.

Now after six years of this happening I figured Thursday was doomed from the get go but somehow I made it there with no injuries or illnesses and no problems whatsoever.

I went out, got to my usual blackout, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde level of drunk and ended up bringing a girl from my course back to mine, we spent the rest of the next day being hungover as shit doing fuck all. I used this time to find out she’s actually a massive Dragonball Z fan, something I never thought I’d be able to say about a girl. We ended up watching about ten episodes and we’re going to have a marathon soon.

It sounds insane but after years of awful luck, something as simple as this has really put me in a good mood and given me a more positive outlook. It’s something that’s made me think, a situation only affects you in the way you let it affect you. I could easily have been unimpressed by what most would consider a perfectly average day but instead I chose to be grateful that it was the first problem-free birthday of my adult life.

Three cheers for rose-tinted glasses.

I Live In Fear

A fear of not “going out with a bang.” I don’t want to die alone, decrepit and with someone on hand to wipe the crumbs from the corner of my mouth. I don’t want to be staring at the faces of my children and not remember the times we shared, let alone their fucking names. I don’t want to be the burden that nobody wants to admit actually is one. I figure I’ve got two choices to remedy this, either live my life “with a bang” and just hope that sooner or later it takes me out at the same time or do a Hunter S. Thompson and redecorate the walls with the inside of my skull when I can feel my days in a care-home fast approaching. The first one hasn’t worked for the last few years so it looks like I’m going to have to invest in a gun eventually, I’m thinking Hunter was bang on with 67.