Unwritten Rules

Well, I guess they won’t be for long.

Every guy follows the same etiquette when texting or messaging someone, it’s actually pretty bizarre. If any girls out there don’t believe me then trust me, I’ve spoken to plenty of my friends about this and they all do exactly the same.

If you’re speaking to a male friend then no kisses are necessary unless they’re one of your closest friends, at which point a single “x” becomes acceptable.
If you’re speaking to a female friend who is exactly that and nothing more, or a female who you don’t know very well then one will suffice.
Everyone knows that “xx” is like an accident, nobody ever means to put two really. It’s either a habit you’ve somehow picked up or you’ve got fat fingers and you keep pressing it twice.

Here’s where we get to the real important shit.
If you’re speaking to a female friend who you’re really close to or that you want to get jiggy with then “xxx” becomes the norm. it’s not too blatant that it could be misconstrued as “sit on my face already” but then it’s not so casual that they’d think you don’t give a fuck about them so it works for either one.

Any more than three and you’re entering some real important territory, make sure that you know she’s into you or risk having to play it off as a mistake afterward.
If a girl then decides to reply with any number of “x”s exceeding three then congratulations son, you’re about to get laid.

This might seem pathetic and stupid, because it is.
I take no responsibility for the way the world works or the fact that technology has reduced us all to children.

I Said Something To Someone

You know, as you do. It struck me that it was actually pretty accurate though so I thought I’d put it here.

When someone says something shitty to you, you basically have a choice of three responses. Some people choose anger, they explode and go crazy and a fight ensues. Some people choose frustration, they leave the conversation as soon as they can and retreating to a safe place to cry or maybe just to be alone.

The third option is the one that i often choose and is probably what I would say is for the best. I choose happiness, don’t let something said out of frustration in a moment of weakness effect you for any amount of time. Any time spent angry or frustrated is just time wasted, you won’t gain anything out of it and you’ll certainly lose a lot. I see people lose so much time feeling down or being angry that could really be spent doing something so much more worthwhile. If you spend even five minutes a day like this then over a year that’s more than thirty hours, over twenty years it starts to look a lot more like six hundred hours, that’s nearly a month.

five minutes might not sound like a lot but when you imagine losing three or four months of your life over the course of it, that’s when shit gets serious. That’s enough time to learn a new language, learn to play an instrument or even write a book. So basically, don’t let little shit get you down and if you’re sure that it’s not little shit then stop and think, will i still feel this way about it in twenty years? If the answers no then trust me, you’re wrong.

Tip Of The Tongue

Something absolutely magical happened the other night. I’ve actually developed a solution to the age-old problem of forgetting what you were about to say because someone interrupted you.

That exact situation played out as it normally does, one of my friends started talking about his friend’s appendicitis and we went off on a tangent with him forgetting what his point in the story was. This is normally followed by the typical “what was the last thing i said?” “I have no idea.” Usually this is where the conversation dies unless the first person can force themselves to remember, which is rare whether you’re high or not.

This is when I came up with the plan, if you just restart the conversation and replay out exactly what you remember saying leading up to the point that neither of you can remember then the person who needs to remember should just naturally think of what they were thinking of before.

I figured that if something we said triggered him remembering a story he wanted to say then maybe going through the conversation again as naturally as possible would trigger the memory again and as it happens it worked.

Absolute magic.

Disconnect

I think it’s vital every now and then to just disconnect from the internet and from the things around you which aren’t tangible. Every once in a while just stop it all,stop spending all day texting someone, checking facebook, updating twitter, snapchatting photos or any of the rest of the mountain of bullshit crutches we’re leaning on to cure boredom.

Let the screens fade to black, let your phone die and just let go.

It really is nice to spend some time on your own, listen to music, eat and smoke. Take as long as you need because I can assure you if someone really, really needs you then they’ll find you. It’s so much easier to forget all of the pathetic little things that disrupt your natural rhythm if you just cut everything out. Only the most important things will ever reach you and it’s nice knowing that there’s no other shit to deal with .