I’ve been on the giving end plenty of times and the receiving end once or twice in the past and as such I feel like I’m a fairly good authority on the subject. There are two main misconceptions that everyone has about it and I’m here to clear them up for anyone who’s interested.
Firstly, people seem to think it makes you a bad person and here’s the groundbreaking discovery, it doesn’t. The majority of people have done it, whether other people find out or not. It’s a byproduct of an inability to talk to your significant other and realistically, that in itself signals a bigger problem. If the relationship has broken down to such a point that one person doesn’t want to be with the other but can’t open up to them enough to actually tell them that well then let’s face it, what does it matter if they cheated? The relationship was dead in the water anyway.
Secondly, I find this one is more prevalent in women than men but a lot of people seem to blame themselves for their partner cheating or somehow rationalize that they must have done something wrong to make it happen. There’s no need to blame yourself, at least no more than you would if your partner simply broke up with you. That’s all they’re really doing, it’s just a desperate and not particularly nice way to give you the signal that it’s game over.
So, if you’re worried about your partner cheating on you then just stop and think for a second. If the relationship’s that fucked that they’re pretty close to doing it then either recognise how shit things are and talk to them about it, or just jump ship. You don’t have to stalk and spy on people and push them further into doing what you’re afraid of, just talk or leave. It’s a simple choice when it comes down to it.