I’ve been really unhappy at several points in my life but if there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that no matter how apathetic, lethargic or downright depressed you are at any moment in time all you ever have to do is put on Take On Me by A-Ha.
I can guarantee you no matter what your state of mind is, it’s impossible not to start singing the second the chorus kicks in and after just over three and a half minutes of heaven you’ll feel so much better than you ever thought you could.
I learnt this word today. It’s basically when a child can’t yet form full phrases so uses singular words combined with inflections and gestures to get the point of an entire phrase across. When a kid says “up” looking up at you all excited, clearly they want to be picked up, that kind of thing.
This got me thinking about slang and how so many people this day shorten whole words or phrases into singular words, often with three syllables or less so it’s extremely quick to pronounce. Why not learn a new word that actually has the meaning of an entire phrase, rather than making your own? Schadenfreude means getting joy from the misfortune of others. Apanthropinization is the withdrawal from the world and any problems and resignation of any current concerns. Scripturient is the act of feeling a strong and violent urge to write something. Words like this need to be learnt and used, or the language dies.
I’ve been on the giving end plenty of times and the receiving end once or twice in the past and as such I feel like I’m a fairly good authority on the subject. There are two main misconceptions that everyone has about it and I’m here to clear them up for anyone who’s interested.
Firstly, people seem to think it makes you a bad person and here’s the groundbreaking discovery, it doesn’t. The majority of people have done it, whether other people find out or not. It’s a byproduct of an inability to talk to your significant other and realistically, that in itself signals a bigger problem. If the relationship has broken down to such a point that one person doesn’t want to be with the other but can’t open up to them enough to actually tell them that well then let’s face it, what does it matter if they cheated? The relationship was dead in the water anyway.
Secondly, I find this one is more prevalent in women than men but a lot of people seem to blame themselves for their partner cheating or somehow rationalize that they must have done something wrong to make it happen. There’s no need to blame yourself, at least no more than you would if your partner simply broke up with you. That’s all they’re really doing, it’s just a desperate and not particularly nice way to give you the signal that it’s game over.
So, if you’re worried about your partner cheating on you then just stop and think for a second. If the relationship’s that fucked that they’re pretty close to doing it then either recognise how shit things are and talk to them about it, or just jump ship. You don’t have to stalk and spy on people and push them further into doing what you’re afraid of, just talk or leave. It’s a simple choice when it comes down to it.
Well, I’ve started a Come Dine With Me-esque competition with my housemates where a different one of us makes a different smoothie for every day of the week and we rate each other in order to see who’s was the best. So far it’s going well and it’s actually really fun so that’s at least one good thing this week and if that was it, to be honest I’d even be happy with that.
Sadly, my friend bailed on recording at his for the weekend but it left me open for when a girl I’d been talking to asked to go on a date, I went and had fun but to be honest, not really feeling it but she is a lovely girl so why the fuck not? If she asks me to meet up again, I’ll have to say yes anyway so I guess that could go either way.
I also got the result from the assignment I was forced into putting off until the last night and I actually got a first! My first one of the third year as well so somehow, being made to procrastinate actually made me focus more in the little time I did have and work better. That’s a big fucking win for the yaysayers.
And finally, the little things. I’ve gone to mcdonalds at 3am. I’ve gone training every day and have been absolutely killing it. I’ve smoked a shitload of weed and managed to go out on wednesday with just one of my flatmates, still get hammered and somehow wake up without a hangover again. If that happens a third time then I’m saying that it’s down to saying yes too.
Or for the uneducated out there, a threesome that involves two men and one lucky woman. There’s one simple rule to follow to make it the best experience possible.
Be the first man in and the first man out.
It’s a fact that nobody wants to play second fiddle in a threesome, it’s never a good idea to be the understudy and have to live up to your friend who may or may not be better in bed than you. Just don’t take the risk, simple.
It’s also a fact that nobody wants to be stuck having sex with a girl who either has still has your friend’s jizz on her face or has the breath of an experienced hooker while their friend watches on solemnly, wondering if it’s acceptable to leave yet.
And it went off without a hitch. I agreed to go on too many dates during the time I was home but somehow, one of them bailed and one asked to meet up tonight before I left for Swansea instead of yesterday, so it actually all ended up perfectly! And somehow, with all of the things that I did, all the people i hung out with and all of the alcohol I consumed, I now find myself back in Swansea with 4050 words of a 5000 word assignment done, so this’ll be easily finished by 3am, and then it’s off to bed ready to tackle tomorrow!
This is the last update on this topic for a little while now, I wasn’t going to do this many but I guess I got overexcited. From now on they’ll just be a weekly rundown. I look forward to having more to write about in the coming days.
I wouldn’t normally have gone out, with the amount of work I’ve got to do but my friend asked me to come out and I had to say yes. He then wanted to go take a shit in my friend’s new house because he can’t do it in public toilets and I had to say yes, so I got to see a friend’s new house in the town centre and was then invited there in the future to smoke, so that was a decent start.
I then somehow ended up talking to a gorgeous woman who had a kid and ended up talking to her for a while, just because she was abandoned by her friend and asked me to stay with her, I had to say yes. I gave three different homeless people at least a pound each because they asked and I had to say yes. I then bumped into an old friend and was dancing with her, she said “I hate this song, we should just leave this place”, so I said yes and we did.
Fast forward to this morning and I wake up in her bed with no money, so she pays for my taxi home. I’m not hungover, I’m still drunk if anything and I’m home now sat in front of this laptop ready to do my work.
Say yes more, so far it’s only brought me good things.
I’ve started saying yes to everything and I can honestly say the effects are immediate.
I’m a very fussy eater, If it’s not chicken, fruit or potatoes then I probably won’t eat it but I’ve been offered to try fisherman’s pie later, not a big deal but a nice starting point. I also ditched uni work to hang out with friends last night that I haven’t seen since Christmas and it was a fun night, well worth it and a well-deserved break. I somehow managed to agree to go on three different dates between now and Monday and play badminton with my dad on Monday daytime which again, is not a big deal but being open to everything seems to make even the most distinctly average of days contain at least one thing fun. Now for the icing on the cake though, I’ve arranged to go to Carmarthen next weekend to actually start recording some spoken word stuff just like I’ve always said I wanted to so I guess we’ll see how that goes, it might be premature but I’ve got high hopes.
An average film, a good book and an incredible concept.
I’m going to take it on board, starting today. I can’t tell anyone for fear of them taking advantage of it, but we’ll see where it leads me. I’m hopeful and maybe that is naive, but I’ve always maintained I’d rather be naive than anything else. I think it’s going to work and I think it’s going to bring me something fantastic, time will tell I guess…
The reason so many people are unhappy, depressed or even suicidal seems so clear. Realistically life isn’t repetitive, although it can sometimes feel that way. It’s only repetitive when you look at it on a small scale, when you look at every day through monday to friday there’s an incredibly high chance that most people will have done the same thing each day.
If you then look at the last four weeks you’ll see repetition interspersed with the odd day where you did something different, to break the cycle and give yourself a break in return. Now, look back to the last year and think about all of those days where you did something different or achieved something, or maybe even just thoroughly enjoyed what you would normally consider monotonous and you can see that life isn’t repetitive, you’re just looking at the corner of a masterpiece through a magnifying glass. You need to look at it all.
Don’t give up just yet, there’s always more to the canvas.