I Am The Worst Thing To Ever Happen To My Life

I’ve been destroying everything that makes me happy or that I love and for no other reason than apparently I just can’t let myself be happy. I fell in love with a girl and we broke up because she loved me so much that she hated the thought of losing me or me getting interested in other girls and became incredibly paranoid and jealous and wouldn’t let me do much without her either being upset or having a go at me. She says she’s changed and I just don’t think she has, I can’t believe that she has because it doesn’t seem like it’s possible for her to. I really want to be with her because I know she’s what makes me happy, but I need that bit of trust and for her to have faith in us. I’m torn between risking being with a girl I love who might not be able to let our relationship work at all or being in love with a girl who’s going to get over me while I try to make the best of whatever I’ve got left. Who the fuck knows what I’m supposed to do, I certainly don’t.