The first half of fresher’s week has come to an end in university and it’s safe to say my kidneys have taken a battering. I think they’re nearly ready to give up if i’m honest but there’s no way in hell I’m going to let them. I’ve met some new people who’re actually really interesting or fun and who normally, I would never have spoken to. It’s made me realize that I really am part of everyone I know and they are all part of me. I think that everyone’s personality is just the amalgamation of any person that influences their life, either for a small part or large part. For that reason and that reason alone, I hope to fuck i don’t meet Pete Docherty here.
“You look like voldemort before his hair fell out” The first words I heard today, because apparently my hangovers are ten times worse than everyone elses in my halls. As well as this my leg bled all over my bed, apparently I tried to carry a door upstairs and it landed on me, I need to get a grip and stop being a child, I’m 20. Fuck.
I’m making a move to Swansea today, for those of you who are geography-illiterate it’s about an hour and ten minutes further away and I’m going to maintain a relationship with my girlfriend who’s staying here. It’s going to be hard but nothing worth having comes easy. I’m going to miss her like crazy throughout the week as we’ll only be able to see each other on weekends but I know that we can make it. She’s afraid I’ll do something wrong while I’m away but I’m not angry about her doubting me, I just can’t wait to prove her wrong.
I remember the good old days when they were all older woman, sexy and some kind of strange forbidden fruit you know you’d never get any chance with. Now they’re just slutty twenty-year-olds with a poor knowledge of the morning after pill.
I say he’s a friend, that’s a bit of a reach. He’s a person I know, that some of my friends like and who I’m unfortunately forced to spend an unreasonable amount of time with despite my intense dislike of him. I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire, I’d wank over his burning body. I’m tempted to spend my last few days on earth slowly beating him to death with a teaspoon.
Altruism really is lost in this dystopian land we find ourselves.
I think that the sooner someone comes to terms with that fact, the better. It’s common belief really that when you accept this, you find a sense of freedom and a better grasp of things. I know now that it’s not worth letting things upset or anger me, I don’t have enough time on this earth for any of that. I’d rather just get on with it and carry on being happy.
Most of my views, follows, likes, comments and everything seems to be coming from Canada. I have no fucking clue why but hey, I’m not complaining. I’ve been to Ottawa and Quebec once each and they’re pretty damn awesome.
I repeat, nobody, has ever been described as “Always Smiling” while still alive. I hate how we romanticize everything that strikes a chord with us emotionally. When someone dies apparently they suddenly become this beacon of white light in a sea of grey, they’re quite literally the next incarnation of the Dalai Lama in waiting if their friends and family are to be believed. When people get married, all they will mention is how much they love one another and how much they can’t bare to be apart. Why omit the most important parts of life? I say let’s all just be honest, “He was a bit of a dick, he used to annoy the fuck out of me but I wish he was still here because no-one can fill that gap” sounds so much more sincere. “Sometimes you frustrate me to the point that I want to scream in your face and break everything in sight, but even then I still know that I’d rather be arguing with you than pretending I’m happy with someone else.” It just sounds so much more honest and truthful than lying to someone’s face and selectively remembering the good parts.
An advert on Sky for the Disney Channel at 00:12. On what planet are children up past midnight, during school term-time on a fucking wednesday. Proof if ever it was needed that we live in a decaying nation.
Have chalk and cheese actually been the exact opposites!? I mean, they’re not similar but they’re no black and white now are they?
It’s got artwork based on Allen Ginsberg’s “Howl” on it, because I need to be as pretentious as possible at all times, even when I’m just holding the measly amount of money I have.
I feel mentally and physically exhausted and believe it or not, I’ve already fallen asleep once for a few minutes while writing this. I’ve spent the day with the girlfriend being there for her through a personal and family problem. I shared some of my fears, hopes and dreams with her and she did the same in return. After all of that talking and trying to force things out that are sometimes just too hard to say, I feel a thousand times closer to her than I am or ever have been to anyone else but also like I’m about to drop at any minute. Now it’s only 03:31 so it’ll be an early night for me I think. In the immortal words of the most famous swine in the western hemisphere, “That’s All Folks!”
I get a call first thing this morning to tell me that my happiness is being held hostage at gunpoint by my jealousy. It seems like he’s demanding the release of my worries before he let’s my happiness go free. I report to the station first and bump into my childishness on the way, he’s telling me not to negotiate with terrorists and if happiness dies then so be it but when I see my old partner, logic, he tells me that it’s up to me how i approach the situation but I’ve got bare in mind that happiness has a wife at home, my future, the two go hand in hand and it’s my job to get happiness back to my future in one piece.
Go hard or get the fuck out of my mouth.